The Power of the Unspoken: Cultural Differences in the Workplace
Why your meetings might not be working for everyone, and how to do better
By Alice Leong and Karl Ostroski
Cultural values play a significant role in our interactions. The challenge is that those values are most often implicit — those who are part of the “in group” just know it’s how things work. But what happens when you’re not in that group?
Why are we meeting?
Years ago, I (Karl), a white man, had the privilege of overhearing a business meeting run entirely by a diverse group of Latine colleagues. It was a two-hour meeting amongst leaders, and I was in the car with my partner who was on the call. The first 80% of the meeting was just everyone catching up. What’s going on personally and professionally in their lives? How are their families? What needs and longings did they have? Encouragement was freely given. Tears were celebrated. Then, in the last 20 minutes of the conversation, several key strategic decisions were made collectively and efficiently.
This was fascinating! Operating in the dominant culture of the US business world where meetings quickly launch into agenda items, I was unaccustomed to this format of meeting. My partner, a Latine member of the team, responded to my confusion with wisdom: “It’s easy to make decisions when you’ve built so much trust.”
This was one of the first times I realized how much culture matters in getting things done — even in the business world. It goes beyond acknowledging a cultural holiday or the latest race-related issue in the headlines. There are distinct, implicit cultural values that influence the purpose, dynamic, and outcome of any meeting.
“It’s easy to make decisions when you’ve built so much trust.”
In another situation, a colleague shared that — as a new employee — he attended one of his first meetings to talk about strategy. While he was part of some one-on-one conversations with his superior prior to the group discussion, he believed those pre-meeting conversations to be merely a primer for the leader to facilitate the group conversation. The rest of the team knew the group meeting to be a formality and didn’t contribute much to the discussion. However, he shared his opinions boldly in the group setting and was later accused of arrogance and disrespect. Knowledge that the company value aligned to “Culture B” (below) was implicit, but he wasn’t part of the “in group” yet.
Both dynamics above are great ways to get things done, if you share the same values and those values are expressed similarly. If these values aren’t discussed and understood, people may feel excluded, or their actions may be misinterpreted as with the new colleague above.
Want more ways to focus on your people amidst uncertainty? Learn how to fill skill gaps, align people to priorities, and better serve your customers in turbulent times. Get the guide.
Calm down or power up?
Cultural nuances also play out in our speech patterns, even if our purpose and dynamics are aligned. For some of us, we’re taught to wait until someone finishes speaking before sharing our thoughts. In other cultures, it’s perfectly acceptable to talk over someone as you’re not interrupting but joining the conversation. Some are taught to leave space between the end of one thought and the beginning of another, allowing the information to sink in. If that isn’t enough, when we’re passionate or in conflict, these dynamics can change for each culture (see below).
Without awareness of how each of us contributes to the conversation, we lose the connection and impact we desire. The passionate interrupter is seen as rude, uncontrolled, and “uppity” (yes, we’ve heard that word). The quiet space-maker is seen as disengaged or lacks expertise to contribute. Neither is considered leadership material when judged by another culture’s metrics.
Learning from experts such as Patrick Lencioni’s excellent advice on the structure, cadence, and purpose of our meetings is crucial. However, we must also consider culture as a welcomed guest at the table. Here are some questions to ask before, during, and after a meeting to grow in our inclusivity:
1. Who’s part of the conversation?
The values and dynamics of the participants can vary by factors such as country, ethnicity, and generation. They can also indicate what pre- or post-meeting work is needed.
2. Who’s not talking?
Silence doesn’t always mean agreement, especially when values for harmony and hierarchy are at play. Additional follow-up after the group conversation may be necessary.
3. Was silence or reflection added as part of the agenda?
Space in group settings is needed not only for introverts, but also for those who are navigating deeply and distinctly held values surrounding honor and respect.
4. What does “yes” mean?
Some cultures consider it inappropriate to publicly disagree with a leader or tenured colleague in a group setting. In this case, “yes” may convey “yes, I hear what you are saying” — not necessarily agreement. Consider the tone and body language of the attendees, as well as what they added after saying “yes” to gauge their true feelings.
Ready to dig deeper? Check out the Cultural Intelligence Center, or learn how our organizational effectiveness gurus can help you drive positive engagement from your teams.
Slalom is a global consulting firm that helps people and organizations dream bigger, move faster, and build better tomorrows for all. Learn more and reach out today.
